More Facebook Tales

At shambala last year, i got cleansed by a geisha, whereby i got taken into the back of a tent all screened off, performed various poses and got offered a shot of tequila by a geisha, she then asked how naughty i had been on a scale of one to ten, i said seven, then she inspected my pupils and sain it looked more like a ten and that i had been very very naughty probably past ten, then took a huge wooden paddle off the wall and spanked me! Brilliant. Also at last years shambala there was a priest with a mobile confession booth that chased people around and into it and got you to confess your sins and such

There is the pixie experience at glasto years ago, an old old hippy with a big beard was wondering around a camp fire saying have you seen my pixies, people thought he was just being annoying and stuff, then he dissapeared, a few minutes later HUNDREDS of people dressed as pixie rock up and cause general chaos, toke of spliffs, sip peoples beers, cause calamity and madness then disappear again...bloody brilliant.

At camp bestival there were lost tourists, tent in one hand, map in the other doing a synchronised tent dance and asking people for help in foreign languages, there was also some very surreal performance in the woods whereby people half dressed as animals were asking if the recount had happened, if you had cast your vote, if you had been to the village meeting, as you walked further round you got to the village meetin and it was revealed thst the votes had been recas for the village cake-baking competitin (the secret is lots of baking powder, not much flour), then we were invited into a shed and the meeting took place, we were asked to create the agenda and went through different things, everyone assumed a character and went along with it long after the actors had left to get tea and biscuits. Andrew Roberts


Glastonbury 2007 - Me and my friend were interrupted from our meander upto the Avalon field by a group of 3 or 4 elaborately dressed festival-goers (I can't remember what they were wearing but I'm pretty sure they'd all stuck to a particular theme), one of whom informed me in a serious, business-like tone: 'Excuse me, we are currently administering botty-smacks... we were wondering if you were at all interested?' Sure enough, they were all carrying whips. What else can one do in a situation like this at Glastonbury, than react like this is the most normal occurence in the world? 'Why yes of course' I replied. They asked me how strong it should be; I replied 'moderate'. After it was done they thanked me and I thanked them, off we both went and we never saw them again.

Something really funny happened whilst waiting for Bon Iver to come onstage at Glastonbury this year. It was a gorgeous Saturday evening in the Park Field (by far the prettiest of all the Glasto stages, not to mention with the best bands too); the crowd was buzzing but relaxed, most sitting down with campfires going, excited but in no rush for the band to come on. The soundcheck was going on onstage, and I'm not sure who in the crowd started it, but someone decided it was a great idea to cheer the sound guy every time he tested the microphones. It caught on in a big way, and before long the whole crowd was cheering every '1,2,1,2' that he uttered. It went on for about 15 minutes, it must've been really annoying for him... but I won't ever forget the atmosphere of the crowd before that gig - it was so playful and relaxed and almost triumphant. I'm not sure who was performing really, but it was so cool to see the joke spread across the whole crowd and to feel everybody participating. Lauren Thacker